adoption

So what the heck is going on?

We still plan to adopt.  We are still burdened with adoption and orphan care.  We still desire more children, and we want them to join our family through adoption.

But we aren't sure of much more than that at the moment.

We've had two moves, a few setbacks within our control and many outside of it, and we've been dealt some agency/country/etc. policies that have changed our situation.

To those of you who have donated, purchased, prayed, asked and wondered....we appreciate your support tremendously.  We still need this support.  Prayer is huge.  We need encouragement.  I remember reading years ago that the adoption process is not for the faint of heart, and as frustrating and ridiculous as it seems, I am still deeply committed to adoption.  But I have hurt and been discouraged at times, and sometimes I withdraw into those emotions.  Sandman is a rock....I blame his military training for his insane ability to compartmentalize his feelings and view things rationally, while I melt into a weeping pile of sludge when we get news about something that wasn't part of "THE" plan.  (read: MY plan)

Hopefully, we will have more news within the next month or two.  To be honest, I don't mind being asked about the adoption, but it has been difficult for me to have to keep saying, "well, we're back to square one...so I don't know" or "well, the agency has changed its policy....so I don't know.."  or "well, we're changing agencies/providers/countries again...so I don't know."  I guess it makes me feel like I'm disappointing the person who asked (who, of course, was being kind and genuine....)

The Lord has been laying some things on my heart lately, but because I don't know where to go with them, I am keeping them to myself.  I have never been so committed to praying for things...some of them being so unknown, and that's something new to me.  It's been sweet, and in some ways, I'm at peace, but in other ways, I know our son is out there, and I desperately want to find him.

So if we don't put lots of updates on the blog, it's probably because we're facing some uncertainties, and I'm guarding my heart.  What I will probably do is write a number of blogs but leave them unpublished until I am comfortable going public with the info.  And sometimes in adoption, it's better to keep things private.  Sandman wants things fairly "sanitized" anyway, which is why you will probably not see our real names here, so our goal is slight anonymity from the get-go.

Thanks for being patient.  I have not been patient.  But I'm getting there.

Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14