moving is hard

I never dreamed I'd be a military spouse. Ever. The thought never crossed my mind, and even as I fell head over heels for Sandman, who was an ROTC cadet at the time, I had no concept of what it might mean to marry a military man.

In my opinion, moving is one of the hardest parts about being a military family. Other things complicate life...lack of a predictable weekly schedule, countless out of town trips, healthcare red tape, not to mention deployments...but uprooting our lives every few years sits at the top of my list of least favorite things. After all, moving, even by choice, is chaotic and inconvenient, but we often have no say in the timing or location. I guess that's not always bad, and I'll admit that I'm nervous about when we have to make those decisions for ourselves like normal adults. And of course, there's something exciting about new experiences, so I'm grateful to be able to navigate them along the way.

But the actual move is the pits. We've had dreams of planning a fun road trip while moving from base to base, camping, visiting new states, enjoying our transition, but that hasn't worked out yet. I basically can't stand packing, cleaning, caravaning, unpacking, and becoming reestablished all over again each time we move. And this move brought us a new wrinkle in that the dandelion boys are school aged with real memories of the home and community we loved in New Mexico.

So, it's time to addresses the Strong and Courageous Life side of the move. All I can say is that God is good, and he has been taking care of us every step of the way. Now, the "way" is NOT what we'd imagined in our wildest (or most ridiculous) dreams. It's been a battle, both emotionally and physically, and a number of situations have popped up beyond our control. Even reluctantly at times, Sandman and I have actively decided to choose JOY in these circumstances. I haven't been perfect, and I've fussed, complained, and cried. I've asked God to give me grace, mercy, and a lot of forgiveness.

We've faced movers coming days early, broken air conditioning, living in at least six different places (hotels, base lodging, relatives' homes, etc.,) Sandman's big promotion (which included a lovely ceremony,) multiple goodbye events with friends, a baby shower the same day our belongings were loaded onto the moving truck, Uhaul not installing stuff when it was scheduled, Uhaul not having the trailer we'd ordered, four days of driving, sleeping on air mattresses for days, and just feeling displaced and uncomfortable. At 30 weeks pregnant. And our goods being delivered almost a week late because the shipping company insists we never told them when to deliver. Eyeroll. Facepalm. And I won't get into the details of the delivery. As we unpack, we're recognizing  that the packing crew in New Mexico definitely used interesting methods, and the delivery crew made a number of questionable decisions. Let's just leave it at that.

By far, this has been the Most Ridiculous Move. I keep thinking our life over the last few weeks would make such great storylines for a sitcom. Or horror movie. Kidding. Mostly. In all seriousness, it's been tough. But I can always see God's goodness, provision, and plan, despite my attempts to wallow in my own pity.

My precious boys have made a few friends on our street. Their families seem friendly and normal. They have been generous to us in the form of casual conversation, baked goods, and accepting my dandelions.

Our house will eventually feel like home. We're blown away by how beautiful it is and the way it fits us like a glove. The square footage is not that much larger than our last home, but the way we can access and use this space is near perfection. I think Joanna Gains would only need to bust out one or two walls and add some shiplap...we already have French doors! The yard is gorgeous, and living around tall, shady trees and soft grass again reminds me of how much I've missed it.

We will find a new church family and friends. It may take time. That's one of my biggest lessons learned in New Mexico. I struggled to find friendships, and in the end, leaving was incredibly difficult because we felt as though we were saying goodbye to family. We visited a church this past Sunday, and while it looked and felt nothing like our last church, it might be where God wants us.

We took a chance and chose to live father from the base, but the sense of community here is off the charts. Longer drive times will take some adjustments from us, but this area is worth it.

Beyond a few little ideas and correlations I've come to on my own, I may never fully understand why we've had to suffer (there, I said it,) through this move. So much of it was unfair and unpredictable. It's been physically painful and exhausting, and at times, my emotions were fried. And through those times, I've been prompted to seek joy. To choose it. To choose the alternative was to pile on to my heartache and frustration.

Moving will always always always be hard. Even if I organized, planned, and could follow though with a long list of preparations, there's no guarantee things will ever go smoothly. I just have to choose to see the silver linings and keep things going until another PCS rolls around.

all things new

I posted three years ago today. A WHOLE STINKIN' LOT occurred in those three years. Catching up would be tough since there's so much to share, so maybe I will entertain Flash Back posts in the future to remember the incredibly wild ride God's led us along as we wrap up our time in New Mexico.

Oh, that's right. It's moving time. Uncle Sam said it was time for us to move on, and we're excited about the future. Today, our HHG (house hold goods) were loaded into a giant moving truck, and in about a week, they'll arrive at a storage facility. About a week and a half after that, they'll be delivered to our new home on the sunny Emerald Coast. Boy, will we miss New Mexico!

More on that later.

If I had to pinpoint one of the greatest events that happened in the last three years, it would undoubtedly be the birth of our third child. Yes, we'd felt God's call to adopt, but that road proved wrought with disaster, and at times, confusion. I believe God used those painful moments to help us grow, even when we were unaware of why it did not work to grow our family. Our plans changed again in the fall of 2013, and as we proceeded down the next step toward adoption, we discovered the good news of our little EJ.

Not only were we finally blessed with another child, but we were blessed with a daughter! I adore being a Boy Mom, but being Mommy to a little girl has been such a beautiful experience. Her brothers love her deeply, despite a bit of sibling rivalry seen from Nugget. He was the baby for almost 7 years!

In the fall of 2015, we found out we were expecting another baby. We traveled to Arizona and California in November, and I suspected it the entire time. That was interesting. I remember riding Space Mountain in Disneyland and asking God to protect the maybe baby from the forces of the roller coaster. Fortunately, it was too early for morning sickness, so we all survived. (I'll have to blog about that trip because it was THE best.)

In March of 2016, we discovered that we were expecting another girl! Two big boys and two little girls. A full heart. So much blessing. So overwhelmed. EJ is going to be a sweet big sister!

So, it seems fitting to adjust my blog title from My Dandelion Boys to My Dandelion Babies. Or something like that. I plan to post more frequently, and I achieved some success a few years ago, so there's hope for me yet. I don't know who reads this, and I don't really need to know I have a following (because that sounds creepy,) but I still have friends all over the world, and there's no sense in not taking advantage of a platform that I enjoy. An outlet to improve my writing while sharing my daily life with friends? Win-win, in my book. Here's to All Things New!

i climbed the mountain

Last weekend, the whole family went to a homeschool conference. I could never imagine the encouragement that happened in that place. The boys were stuck in their children's program, and all things considered, they did just fine. But Sandman and I attended some meetings that struck us hard in terms of the whys of homeschool. What a sweet time of growth, both in hearing from veteran homeschool families and listening to God's voice as he spoke to our hearts.

I met moms that also have children with gifts like Buddy's, and some of their struggles make mine look like a cakewalk. From them, I have gathered a lengthy list of books that should encourage me, especially on those impossible days. And seeing curriculum up close and in person helped me to recognize a few directions that may or may not work for us or that might fit in nicely when everyone is a little older.

Sandman heard from dads, and he's gushed to me about how everything has clicked for him now. Please don't get me wrong...Sandman was more into homeschooling a few years ago than I was! I have never questioned his support, and for the most part, he gives me opinions when I ask for them and trusts me completely. But he's seeing homeschool as more than just me teaching the boys how to read and write. And in all of those "light bulb" moments, we grow closer in what we want for our family...or rather what God wants for our family.

We've been challenged, again, to list our reasons for homeschooling, and like I mentioned in that other post, I'm sort of glad we didn't do that a few years ago because this list will absolutely look different now. I'll get around to it someday, but Sandman and I are STILL talking about what we heard over the weekend, and processing those sound bites is taking up some time. 

In one of Sandman's meetings (we split up when we could in order to attend more sessions,) the speaker spoke of choosing the hard things, and he pulled no punches. Choosing to homeschool means choosing the harder option in many cases. And I'm not looking to debate this issue, but I know that I am constantly question my judgment and feeling horribly inadequate, and I don't think I'd feel that way if someone else was responsible for the boys' education. It's a weight I carry, and I have to give it back to God daily. It's my mountain. It is steep and uncharted and exhausting, but the payoff is worth the effort, because He remains by my side throughout the ascent. And He will be there with me at the top of the mountain as we praise him and thank him for helping us along.

Here are a few pictures from our long weekend in Albuquerque. The conference was 2 days long, and we stayed an extra two days. We enjoy Albuquerque, and I'm beginning to love the mountains...even if these are sort of small.

 

This is the "mountain" I climbed. No, it's not huge and treacherous, but the last time I tried to climb it with Sandman two years ago, I chickened out. The 60 mph gusts of wind weren't helping that time, but the wind wasn't an issue this trip, and I made it!

 The boys are on one of the volcanoes in the this one. I did chicken out here, but I'd been battling an allergy fog and let the guys climb this alone.

 

We have a yearly pass to the Albuquerque Biopark which includes the Zoo, Aquarium, and Botanic Gardens. We've visited the Zoo and aquarium a number of times, but we were impressed with the Gardens. Very kid-friendly...Buddy was in LOVE with the giant model train exhibit!

 Nugget spent much of the day "camera-ing" the sights with this clip-on sunscreen attached to his junior park ranger hat.

 

 He's "filming" minnows above and the model trains below.

 

 

 Fun feeding the ducks

 

 This baby giraffe is TWO DAYS old!!! So precious! We asked God to help the zoo staff to take care of her- sounds like she's being rejected by her mama, so she must be raised by hand. Can't imagine that being easy when the newborn is 6 feet tall.

Baby Rhino named Chopper! What a little tank!

 

 Our local zoo has roaming peacocks like these, but this fella was incredibly friendly with Buddy.

 

 

texas

We love Texas. I grew up there. I was almost born there. Sandman had to wait until he was 11 to live in Texas. We both went to college in Texas. It's just home. For all it's faults, it has 78,351 AWESOME things. Sandman and I have no idea where we'll end up after this military gig, but right now, Central Texas would be alright.

We took a spring break down to Houston to visit family, to have free babysitting, and to visit a dear, lifelong friend that lives in Africa.  Sandman and I got that 10th Anniversary mini-trip. The boys got a lot of grandparent time, the zoo, Rainforest Café, an Astros baseball game, and some cousin time.

Unfortunately, I took almost ZERO pictures. It's sort of like how the Christmas holidays are devoid of many pictures. I get into a rut where I just don't take pics because I'm living life. It's why my video-taking skills are HORRIBLE- I'm watching the live event and not watching through my camera display.

So, I'll celebrate our trip with a million pics of my boys in the bluebonnets. Spontaneous stop, somewhere near Brenham. Or Bryan. Or somewhere else. I can't remember. They aren't the best pics...no outfit prep....no combing/styling of hair...it's cloudy.... But they are Real Life pictures of my sons in a field of that precious, little blue wildflower. And that makes me smile.

We didn't pose these next two...they insisted on taking a picture with the little Indian Paintbrushes.

my sandman

My Sandman works hard. Our move here put him in a strange situation career-wise. We weren't really sure what the God had in store for us (him, really,) and I'd be lying if it wasn't hard to just blindly trust that He would provide. Without going into those details, Sandman was eventually put in a position with great potential. The pieces fell in place so precisely that we couldn't imagine planning it any other way. Thanking the Lord for his provision and plan was all we could do, and we continue to thank him for all the many amazing things he's done over the last year and a half.

In sort of a culmination of God's provision, Sandman received a "Something of the Year" award for 2012. Receiving this type of acknowledgement from his commanders was just unbelievable, especially when we look back to the situation the previous year. Here's our picture on the night of the awards banquet back in February.

My Sandman and I also celebrated 10 years of marriage this month. I can honestly and plainly say that we are closer than we were 10 years ago, and for all of the ups and downs over the last almost 15 years, I can't imagine spending that time with anyone else. I am proud of our marriage, and I'm proud of the people we are becoming...lots of growth and change and development as we follow God. It's just something I don't take for granted.

While we were in Houston, we took advantage of free babysitting, and we spent a couple nights at a fancy hotel. We saw Jersey Boys. We ate fancy food and acted like tourists. So while we may not have had a second honeymoon, I'm glad we were able to officially celebrate each other and how far we've come together.

These kids have no idea what's in store for them. Such babies! But life has brought us such JOY together, and I can't even imagine what our Father has in store for the next ten years. He's been so faithful to us, such a constant when our lives were in chaos, and I know he brought us together for those times.

This moment. Those grins. These sweet faces. Sometimes I can't stand the cuteness. I love this man.

new mexico-syle blizzard

All of our snows this past fall and winter have been dustings. Maybe an inch or so, but nothing more. A few times, the boys had enough to play in and have some fun, but it never lingered on the ground for more than a day. One time, it snowed in the morning, and by 11am, anything exposed to the sun was gone!

Here's an early February snow. I think this one was super cold, but as you can see, there's not much there.

So we were clipped by a blizzard! The winds had been blowing hard all night, and we awoke to a beautiful white blanket on the ground. I got to see what sideways snow looks like. The yard was nicely covered, and we even had a few snow banks that were 4 feet tall! Not sure how or why my camera took these in B&W, but it did. I actually really like the front door picture.

 

 This snow bank was almost as tall as Buddy, and he's over 4 feet tall. Of course, Nugget had knocked it over by the time a took a pic.

 

 Evidence of the wind...you can see the brown grass behind our snowman.

 

 Sandman was mostly responsible for the construction of our biggest snowman to date. I decorated. Had the snow been less powdery, he would have been taller.

 

The cold weather and snow have been very enjoyable to us here in New Mexico. There isn't enough of it for us to grow tired of it or even long for warmer weather. Experiencing four seasons instead of 2ish makes for a nice year and a more traditional feel to some holidays. I won't mind if we return to Florida someday, but for now, most of New Mexico's weather has my heart! 

Now, if we could only lose the dust and dirt and crazy wind......

a joy of a visit

A few weeks after hosting all of the grandparents for Christmas, my mom returned...but with my sister Joy! She's living across the world, and we miss her so much! We try to keep in touch with calls, Skype, etc, but there's nothing like a visit with her!

We celebrated her birthday while she was visiting. The boys made this HUGE sign, and the local grocery store went overboard with the buttercream icing. No one complained.

We did a lot of this...just spending time together.

She joined us for an interesting time at the barn. I love the action in the next picture. Joy's observing everything, while Buddy fights to keep his horse Target from grabbing a snack, while I get friendly with another horse who was nibbling my hat!

 

 

Nugget LOVES dogs.

This is Nokie, who is one of the sweetest, friendliest dogs I've ever met.

 These next two shots are so "Joy" but don't mistake her face for frustration. My sis is more low key than I am...she adores her nephews, and she kept Nugget entertained. I am grateful that they have such a loving aunt! 

 

 

 

 

 My precious, whole family...and a cannibal cow serving steak?

Joy, we love you, and we miss you and we can't wait until your next visit! Thanks for coming to our little town, putting up with the dirt and cold, and for loving on our boys. I love that you are my sister!